Jennifer is the head of one of the engineering functions at a renewable energy developer. She is like you and me, she is a middle manager.

After 10 years in the nuclear industry, Jennifer decided to transition to the renewable energy sector. The nuclear industry is slow, with a lot of "stop & gos", which became a source of frustration. Delayed or cancelled projects and a lack of perspective in the mid-term convinced Jennifer to resign from her people manager position. Doing so, she left behind a team of dedicated engineers whom she developed as a respected and liked part of the organisation.

Jennifer was thrilled to join one of the global leading renewable energy developers. With tenth of gigawatts in the pipeline, challenging assignments would not lack. That's exactly what Jennifer needed. After several years of slowdown, Jennifer was missing real action and she felt as she was loosing her skills and motivation.

With a healthy set of transferable skills, Jennifer landed an exciting project manager role. She had been a people manager for the last six years, but she was keen on getting back to project assignments to feel the rush of large EPC projects work. And being part of the project team, engagement with stakeholders is constant, so she would not loose her people management skills.

The transition was a little bumpy. Though, from a technical and subject matter expertise, she excelled at what she was doing, Jennifer felt as if she lost some of her landmarks and self-confidence. The work culture was different, much more entrepreneurial, as opposed to the very regulated and organised systems she was accustomed to in the nuclear industry.

Nonetheless, Jennifer exceeded the expectations in her new role. So much that after a year in her new organisation and new job, she was asked if she would be interested to take a people management position at the occasion of a reorganisation. After a short reflection, Jennifer accepted the proposition.

In her new role, Jennifer became the people manager of a dozen of project engineers, some of them being her peers in the project she was assigned to. That way, she would have one foot in the project environment (that was dear to her heart) and one foot in the line organisation. She was excited, and flattered, as she felt that this new position was a recognition for her competence and skills. This looked great on the paper. And to be fair, it was very fun and rewarding during the first six months.

But Jennifer lost her motivation fairly rapidly. After all, she was not working in a project anymore. When assigned to an EPC project, the outcomes of her work were instantaneous, visible and tangible. In her new people management role, she was responsible for the execution a half-baked strategy which had been  developed without her and too far away from those who were supposed to benefit from it. She was spending time protecting her team members assigned in projects while doing her best to please her boss who was expecting to see the new strategy fully implemented rapidly.

The situation became untenable. But Jennifer has always been a resilient person. She would not like to feel victimized by the situation. She had to take action.

After reflecting on her options, she started to book some introduction meetings with some key department directors. Her plan was to explore what's happening in the organisation, what the new hot projects or initiatives are, and get herself under the radar of some of the key hiring managers of the company.

That day, she sat with Ben. At that time, Ben was leading the Project Development organisation. The portfolio was only getting bigger, so Jennifer knew that the Project Development department was on the look for talents. Project development seemed really attractive, offering the right combination of technical challenges and stakeholders management.

Jennifer got to know Ben at the occasion of a few meetings in scope of her previous EPC project assignment. Ben had a good reputation. As in her mind, this was just an introduction meeting, Jennifer did not prepare herself in great details. She was just interested to hear if there were opportunities in Ben's department, and if she could fit one of the positions Ben would have had opened.

Jennifer booked a meeting room instead of just having a coffee meeting in the common areas of the head office. She did not over think it. This setting just felt the most convenient way to have this discussion.

She arrived a few minutes in advance and strangely felt a little nervous. Her heart was beating a little louder than usual. That was strange. She is not usually nervous. But her train of thoughts started to suddenly accelerate. She felt in a really bad place in her current job, and the discussion she was about to have was actually quite important. She was looking for a way out of her current situation that was not sustainable. Jennifer shook her head, took a few deep breaths and told herself not too make this coming discussion "bigger" than what it is.

Her inner dialogue got abruptly interrupted as Ben entered the room and sat right in front of her on the other side of the table. His demeanor was not telling much, but something was a little off.

Jennifer tried to be as welcoming and positive as the meeting was about to start.

"Hi Ben, thanks so much for taking the time to meeting me. I have heard a lot of good things about your department, I know the pipeline of projects is growing, so I was interested to hear more about opportunities you would have in your team and if I could be a good fit."

Though courteous, Ben was rather cold after Jennifer greeted him, and went on straight away with a question Jennifer was not ready to answer.

"Jennifer, what do you want? I mean, in general, what are you looking for?"

Jennifer was caught of guards. He mind started to race. She was thinking that her invitation implying what she wanted. She is curious about Ben's department and would like to know if there are any opportunities for her. What was so complicated about that?

Well, she did not mention to Ben that she was really unhappy in her current role.

Ben asked again. "What do you want Jennifer?".

Jennifer tried to keep her composure. She also did not want to speak negatively about her current situation, and unprepared to answer a simple but difficult question, she started to list the main traits of what an ideal position looked like for her.

"I want a job where I can use my skills, where i feel I contribute to creating value for the company, where my work is valued and recognized..."

Ben looked at her, and with a white voice, commented: " You want to be recognized, so does that mean you need power?"

Jennifer rushed to understand Ben's remark. In a way, what Ben said was right: with power you are "recognized". But as logic as this argument was, power was not what Jennifer needed and this is not what she wanted to convey.  The fact is that in her current position, Jennifer does not see the value of her work, and because of that, she can't be "recognized" as someone who creates value for the organisation.

Jennifer was lost in her thoughts, caught of guards. She felt sad and disappointed that the discussion turned out to be misleading on her intention. Most importantly, it became clear that she could rule out being a valued member of Ben's team. "What a waste!" she thought.

Even if she understood that Ben was not coming from a "bad place", the meeting became really unpleasant and uncomfortable for Jennifer and she thought that it was better to end it as soon as possible. After all, Ben is busy and she is probably not the only one who engaged with him recently. He was just being very straight, even though his comment on "her need for power" did not resonate very well to her.

Trying to take the most out of this missed opportunity and end the conversation on a positive note, Jennifer collected herself to highlight her takeaways on the spot and show gratitude for Ben's time. "Ben, thanks again for making time to meet with me. Let's get back a few minutes of our respective agenda. Your questions certainly show that I need to prepare more for what I considered just an exploratory discussion. I need to do a little bit of introspection, clarify my goals and value proposition. I'd love to get back to you once I have reflected on our discussion."

Ben answered in a neutral but encouraging tone: "Certainly, anytime."

What happened after does not really matter. But when Jennifer thinks back at this day, she realised that, at this very moment, she just had lost her sense of purpose. And to someone else, it looked like she was in a need of power. Not the best way to promote yourself when you are looking for a new job opportunity.

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This allegory is a typical middle management story. It is maybe mundane for some, but so relatable for the most. 

 Why?

It encompasses many of the issues, situations, and challenges that we, middle managers, have faced or will face at some point during our career, whether you cheer for Jennifer or for Ben.

•  Finding or losing a career purpose

• Seeking or providing career development & coaching

• Considering and helping a career transition

• Implementing or building a corporate strategy

• Learning or teaching self-reflection and self-awareness

• Preparing for or passing on information

• Opting and preparing for "life changing" events...

Facing those inflection points throughout your career can be really exciting, but it can also be difficult, frightening, disarming... And it will certainly take a lot of your energy if you find yourself managing them on your own.

The Middle Management Anonymous can help you.