The term mental toughness has kept resonating in my mind lately.

The main reason for this is that, like many of the topics I have covered, by default, I do not think I am necessarily good at it.

And my usual process is to research a bit about it to make sure I understand its meaning, especially in the corporate world.

My first assumption is that I am not mentally tough because I tend to be a pleaser and a non-negligible conflict avoider.

I also had a slight aversion to the term toughness. It does carry some sort of manly connotation that I do not feel extremely comfortable with.

But when I dig a little further, this is not as straightforward.

First, the concept of mental toughness is much more subtle than it seems.

Also, when reflecting on my leadership timeline, several key events stress-tested and helped build up resilience. I did recount some in my earlier blog posts when I showed persistence against adversity, whether when I grew as a rugby player or as a leader from the middle.  

What is mental toughness?

The best description of mental toughness I came across is in the book “The Art of Clear Thinking”, by Hasard Lee, a former US Air Force Pilot.

In a chapter dedicated to mental toughness, Hasard Lee recalls a close air support mission over Afghanistan. He eloquently describes the particularly difficult combat situation during which he needed to support ground forces in precarious posture – he could hear the stress and urgency of those requesting urgent support as they were being shot at and sustained casualties – while flying a jet and fiddling with his weapon system to precisely aim at the target – requiring extreme focus and accuracy to avoid any friendly fire.

In this specific situation, he describes mental toughness as the ability to behave rationally without being hijacked by his emotions. In other words, how to keep focused when under severe stress.

The author further explains that a human being has on average over sixty thousand thoughts a day with upward 85 percent of those thoughts spent on fear-based planning, meaning worrying about things that might happen in the future.

Before giving other fascinating examples of stressful situations, he goes on to explain the physiological effects of stress, including breath shortness, increased heartbeats, stomach sinking sensation…  

Surprisingly, he did not develop his mental toughness at the Air Force Academy.

He was exposed to the effects of stress when he was competing in boxing at college. While conversing with athletes, he learned about stress mitigation techniques: visualization, self-talk, and specialized breathing techniques.

While it was not 100 percent effective, he noticed that the stress mitigation strategy he put in place led to a significant improvement in his boxing technique. As he became better, he was even more motivated to train, finding himself in a positive virtuous cycle.

He implemented those stress mitigation techniques in all compartments of his life.

When he joined the Air Force Academy, he was surprised that there was no mental management training. Mental toughness was not considered a skill you could grow, but almost an innate disposition that would make or break your Air Force curriculum success.

He used his past sports experience to overcome the many difficult steps of the curriculum, which, to his recount, has enabled him to be part of 3 percent of those who can pretend to fly a fighter jet.

Later, as he became an instructor, he drew on his combat experience and proposed to develop a training syllabus precisely addressing stress management, mental toughness, and other related issues. He knew firsthand this could make a difference the day fellow ground troops would need accurate and timely air support the most.

His strategy to mitigate the effects of stress and emotions follows five points, like a mental toughness workout routine.   

1.       Training and preparation

The first step is, whatever the field or topic at stake, whether it is about flying a specific mission or chairing an important meeting, to train, train, and train again, until your craft becomes a routine. Hasard Lee writes: “You don’t rise to the level of your expectations, but you fall to the level of your preparation”. I found this quote so compelling. In my corporate world, that means having my plan, presentation, or material ready well before it is due. I would read it over and over, let it “rest”, get back to it, and share it with relevant stakeholders for feedback until I feel confident with the content and prepared to talk over it. I would also consider any “what if” scenarios, risks, dependencies, possible derailers, and stakeholders “unfriendly” with the issue. Nowadays, I also use AI to stress test some of the points I perceive as weak.

Note to self: I only do that for the topics I consider important. This is very subjective. I should not be complacent and extend the approach to topics that are important to my team members or my key stakeholders.

2.       Staying in the moment

The next point is probably one of the hardest ones in my view. Hasard Lee makes the point of maximizing the mental resources to focus only on what we have control over, which is the next decision to make. One should not dwell on mistakes. They can be debriefed later and discussed at length. Doing so will contribute to deriving better learnings from failures, with a clearer mind. Likewise, one should not worry about events that may or may not happen in the future. It is of course essential to have a robust plan, but as Hasard Lee mentions, plans become obsolete as soon as the action starts. Even plans crafted with the utmost care cannot consider the many scenarios and alternatives unfolding in the heat of the action. It is therefore essential to stay focused on the current situation and the next decision to take.

Note to self: I got much better at not letting myself be destabilized by mistakes – those are the best sources of learning. Journaling has been a game changer when it comes to mitigating stress from uncertainties.  

3.       Breathing techniques

Hasard Lee explained in pragmatic and scientific terms how breathing calms the mind and body. As stress kicks in, the breath becomes shallow and rapid. This can be counteracted by consciously slowing down and deepening the breathing through the nose. This enables shifting the decision-making back to the neocortex.

Hasard Lee cites two breathing techniques:

• The box breathing consists of inhaling for 5 seconds, holding breathing for 5 seconds, followed by exhaling for 5 seconds. This is done in cycles for 5 minutes.

• The triangle breathing consists of inhaling for 5 seconds, exhaling for 5 seconds, and holding breathing for 5 seconds, also during a 5-minute cycle.

As banal as it seems, breathing techniques are accessible to everyone. They do not need advanced training and are very effective.

4.       Positive internal dialogue

Hazard Lee recounts how his fellow Air Force Academy students were tough on themselves when they made a mistake. The stakes are high indeed, and the competition for the best spots is fierce. Nonetheless, according to Hasard Lee, one can systematically build confidence through positive self-talking or internal dialogue. The technique to do so is called reframing. I published a blog post on this very topic and can only invite you to read it.

Note to self: It is interesting to see the connection and complementarity between those two concepts that are characterized by a very distinct semantic – toughness vs reframing.

5.       Visualization

In the Air Force ecosystem, visualization techniques are called chair flying. It consists of rehearsing a flight, sitting on a chair – on the ground, not in a plane – while incorporating as many senses as possible. Pilots use their hands, arms, head, upper body, voice, their ears to simulate the conditions and accustom themselves to the procedures and sequences of the flight being rehearsed.

Not to self: I have never used this technique and should consider how it could be applicable in my working environment.

Although this mental toughness workout routine has been developed and implemented by and for fighter pilots, it can be used by anyone who would like to improve their ability to focus on the moment, on the task at hand, and the next decision. Learning to regulate emotions is beneficial now, but also in the long term, by reducing stress-induced effects on the mind and the body.

I will never be a fighter pilot and, considering my corporate life, I will never be in the same life-or-death types of extremely stressful situations recounted by Hasard Lee. But that does not mean that I will never be at risk of being hijacked by my emotions relative to my working environment.

Middle management is at the heart of the corporate machinery, subject to all stresses and heat generated by the organization.

Mental toughness can be useful in diverse situations:

·       When facing criticism or rejection,

·       During organizational change,

·       When handling high-pressure deadlines,

·       When dealing with conflict,

·       When taking risks and making tough decisions,

·       When managing upwards and downwards,

·       And when handling failures and learning from mistakes.

Mental toughness should not be only a leadership skill reserved for individuals. Like critical thinking, your whole team could benefit from those techniques, and in return, become not only better at regulating their emotions and achieving peak mental performance but also developing the team's resilience.

Another form of mental toughness is patience.

It is an underrated skill, often misunderstood for action paralysis in our exponentially complex and rapid world. It certainly made me a stronger and more resilient person. A topic for another blog post…

What is your mental toughness workout routine?

Come and share it on The Middle Management Anonymous Agora, our podcast!

You can also contact me directly and engage with The Middle Management Anonymous community!

As always, I will be happy to get your comments and feedback.